So Tired I Could Cry

Warning: This post is being written purely for cathartic reasons. A massive rant is about to commence. If you are faint of heart, easily scared, or just don't care, then I suggest you look away... Now.

It is currently 02:40 AM EST. And I am still awake. I still have history work to do, poli sci to study, and a GKIN100 fitness log to bs. And I am nowhere near done with my work. In less than four hours, I have to wake up to make it to my hellacious 8 AM, where I will do absolutely nothing aside from bust my ass as I walk to class because my college is too fucking stupid to put a delay on classes. And as I'm walking to class, I'm going to be freezing my ass off because it hasn't gotten above freezing here for the past week. Yes, the past week. I am finding that no matter how diligent I am about managing my time, there is still not enough time in the day for me to get everything done. Thus, I feel like I am constantly playing a game of catch-up, trying to keep up with everything as my studies slowly slip away.

Did I mention that I'm so tired I could cry? Yeah, I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. There is nothing I want to do more than taking a coma, waking up, and doing something completely and totally unhealthy and self-indulgent. But, I can't. My friends need me, and my stupid big heart won't allow myself one second of me-time. My suitemate has even pointed out that I attempt to please everyone (not in a sycophant sort of way, mind you), and I don't allow myself a chance to decompress. Due to everything that's going on, I've lost all patience with humanity (not to mention all hope) and I'm pretty sure m mental state is close to breaking point... worse than it was last semester even. No wonder I feel like a bitch all the time.

Now, you may argue that I can take some time to relax this weekend. Wrong. I can't do that because of a fucking HIST395 midterm that I have due next Tuesday. Seriously, the History Department wasn't kidding when they made the shirts say, "I Survived History 395." And, as I watch my friends with their respective majors, I can't help but to wonder if I'm some sick sort of masochist for putting myself through this hell.

Seriously, I feel like a puff of air could shatter my very being. I really want to turn to my parents... ask for something like a little care package or some advice, but to do that would mean appearing weak, and I can't appear weak. I WILL NOT appear weak. So, I have to keep all complaints and problems to myself. Besides, they've got enough to deal with as it is. They don't need my shit added to that.

My friends can't really help either. They'll probably tell me their own sob stories, try to convince me that I really don't have it that bad. They'll probably tell me to suck it up and deal. Thing is, I've been doing that for so long... days, weeks, months... hell, I feel like I've been doing it for years. But hey, how much damage can one more day of sucking it up and dealing possibly do? After all, it's not like I can really do anything else.

So, this is me, shoving all my problems to the back of my mind. This is me pretending that everything is hunky-dory. See that smile? Yeah, it's fake as shit. But who cares, so long as a complaint doesn't pass from my lips. It's Ok. Ignore me. I'll be fine. See, really, I'm fine.

...

I swear, if I survive this semester, it'll be a miracle.

Holy Weather, Batman!

So, if you've spent any time in the state of Virginia, then naturally, you'll know that it has bipolar weather. During the summer, it can be 95 degrees and sunny one minute, and then 75 degrees and storming the next. Or, in the case of winter, it's sunny and 65 degrees one day, and 20 degrees and snowing the next. My initial reaction to all of this weather?

What. The. Hell?

I mean, I've lived in VA all my life, and I'm still befuddled by our weather. And I've never heard of anywhere else having such crazy weather either.

Another typical trait of VA weather is snow. We don't get a lot of snow, but when we do get any, it practically shuts the entire state down. 3 inches of snow = 1 week off of school, which is great... so long as you don't go to college. In my opinion, snow sucks. It's cold, it gets everywhere and makes everything wet, and if you're a college kid (like me) it means your eating options are limited, and you have to brave the outdoors to go get something aside from Ramen to eat. Not to mention, snow causes all kinds of traffic problems (have you ever tried to drive a Kia Spectra in the snow? Not fun... or easy) and leads to the accident-prone having more accidents. I do believe it's safe to say that snow in general just isn't a good thing.

All of this leads me to wonder what the hell is going on with our weather this winter. We've already had 2 major snowstorms (within roughly a month of each other) and 2 minor ones. And the forecasters are saying another system is supposed to move through this weekend. 2 snowstorms in a weak?! Jesus Christ and everything holy and unholy! The end of the world really must be coming soon!

I guess the only thing that can be done, though, is to just suck it up and deal. After all, I can't affect the weather at all, nor can anyone else.

That said, bundle up, don't slip, and look out for snowballs!

Insanity At Its Finest

Main Entry: in·san·i·ty
Pronunciation: \in-ˈsa-nə-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural in·san·i·ties
Date: 1590

1 : a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)
2 : such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a : extreme folly or unreasonableness b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable
4 : doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results

My friends and I were the definition of insanity earlier tonight. After all, who'll drag two guys and a middle school-aged child down into the kitchen and make brownies? Absolute and complete insanity!

I guess I ought to start from the beginning. This weekend was family weekend at my school, so we had a lot of guests up here. My suitemate's younger sister came up and was staying with her, so we decided that we were going to make brownies. Friday night, we began the preparations, "we" being me, my suitemate Lauren, her roommate, Stephanie, and our friend, Logan. We all piled into Logan's car and drove over to Wal-Mart. Logan bought a Snuggie and a Nerf gun, I bought Apples to Apples and The Chronicles of Riddick, and Lauren bought brownie supplies (including the Perfect Brownie pan- As seen on TV). After running around Wal-Mart and scaring a few fellow customers, we decided it was time to head back to campus. It was only when we got back to our dorm that we realized that we forgot two crucial ingredients for our brownies- oil and eggs. No one wanted to go buy them from the convenience store on campus; after all, they charge an arm and a leg for EVERYTHING! So, we decided to wait until the next day to go get the supplies.

Fast forward 24 hours, and we're back at Wal-Mart again. Lauren's younger sister had arrived earlier in the day, so she'd joined us for our trip. Immediately, she and Logan get to bickering back and forth (in a nice, slightly humorous way). And oh was it funny. Logan got owned by her! I swear, I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life!

Eventually, we get all of our supplies and make our way back to campus. As I head to go get the kitchen key from the RA on duty, the rest of the group goes to rally the troops and meet me down there. When I get to the kitchen, I find that we've been joined by Lauren's roommate, Stephanie, and Logan's roommate, Spencer. As I walk into the kitchen, Lauren pulls me aside, telling me everyone's in the cabinets. Well, sure enough, Logan's hiding in the tall one that runs from the floor to the ceiling. Spencer's somehow managed to stuff himself into a tiny cabinet under the sink and Stephanie's in another small cabinet across the kitchen. Immediately, I could tell this was going to be interesting.

As we got ready to make the brownies, we realized that we epically failed in the planning department, as we had no bowl to mix the batter in, nor did we have anything to mix it with. Eventually, we got a pot from the RA and I found a spoon and fork in my room that were clean. I ended taking over the measuring duties, Stephanie mixed everything and Lauren's sister watched us like a hawk, waiting for one of us to give her the bowl to lick after we were done with it. Lauren poured the batter into her "Perfect Brownie" pan, and Logan made makeshift oven mits with the box (another oversight of ours) while Spencer stole Stephanie's flipflops and she chased him all around the basement trying to get it back. In the middle of all this, Lauren's sister finally got her wish, and was perched happily on the counter doing nothing other than licking the bowl.

With the brownies now in the oven, we did what any college student would do on a Saturday night- hang out in the study lounge. Mind you, it was completely empty (thank goodness). As we waited, we found our own different ways to entertain ourselves. Logan and Spencer took to ambushing any misfortunate soul who happened to venture down into the study lounge with their soda bottles. When they weren't ambushing people, Spencer continued to steal Stephanie's flip-flops. Lauren, Lauren's sister and I did the Cupid Shuffle (though I did mine in the traditional Midlothian style, much to their confusion). And Logan continued to be tormented by Lauren's sister. In short, it was just another normal Saturday night.

Eventually, we checked the brownies (Logan got burnt while taking them out, and then got burnt again when putting them back in after Lauren and I decided that they weren't done enough). So, we went back to creating chaos in the study lounge again. I've got to be honest- I've never had to much fun in the study lounge before. Logan and Spencer were running around like lunatics, Lauren and I were laughing at them, and in general, it was just a great night.

After a few more minutes, we checked the brownies and decided that they were done. This only added even more chaos, as we were all attempting to get brownies (om nom nom nom nom nom... inside joke, sorry). With our baked-goods craving satisfied, we continued to create chaos in the study lounge. All good things must come to an end, though, and soon enough, we were all tired and ready to go to bed. I know, it's amazing! Who would've thought that college kids could get tired?

But, yeah. That was my Saturday night. It was completely crazy, and truth be told, you probably had to be there in order to realize just how great it was. All I can say is that I've got the best friends here, and this past weekend was probably one of the best weekends I've ever had. :)

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Break out the facepaint (or warpaint, whatever you want to call it), jersey's and fire up that grill. Football season is back!

Now, football's never been really big at my school. We've got a small team in a small division. We're not one of those teams you're going to see on ESPN or Fox (unless we make the playoffs like we did last year). My cousins and friends are jealous because instead of praying that I win a lottery to get a ticket, I just have to show my student ID and walk through the gate. In fact, I think most people are a little surprised that we even have a football team.

I support my football team, and I always will. However, my loyalty also lies with a couple of other teams. If our football game is an away game, then you'll probably find me sitting in front of the TV, yelling at my beloved Hokies (or Chokies, as they're affectionately known in my household). On Sunday's, you might find me watching some NFL. I tend to avoid watching them, though. There's just something about watching the NFL that I don't like. I can't really put my finger on it. Let's just say that I live for college football, and that sentiment is shared by my father.

It's amusing, actually. Dad usually has three football buddies (four, when I'm home). On any given Saturday, you can probably find him lying on the couch with Cleo (my cat) sitting above his head, and Kodi and Callie (our dogs) lying at his feet as they settle in to watch his alma mater play. By the second quarter, all four of them will probably have fallen asleep. It's Ok, though. They'll wake up in the middle of the third and watch until the end.

If there's a major game that's going to be played later in the evening, then sometimes dad cooks chili. He and I (and sometimes my brother) will go out and get all the neccessary ingredients earlier in the day, and when we return home, we begin the process of "building" the chili. Dad has a sworn by recipe that's never been written down and depends on constantly changing proportions of spices, meat and tomato products. Each pot of chili is a little different, so we've got to be flexible. While one batch might need more cayenne pepper, another might need more salt. Or maybe we need more tomato paste in one while another needs more water. Either way, we're constantly testing the chili as it cooks, making adjustments as need. By about 02:00 PM, we've usually got a rather large pot of chili simmering on the stove. About fifteen minutes before kickoff, we'll all gather around and dip out our bowls of the thick stew. This is where things get interesting.

Each member of my family has their own unique way of fixing their chili. Personally, I prefer to put a fair amount of shredded sharp cheese in mine, with a small dollop of sour cream. Dad tends to steer away from any cheese or sour cream, instead pulling out the Fritos Scoops that serve as his preferred method of consumption. My brother will also use the Fritos, but he usually throws some cheese in his chili as well. Mom's never been a huge fan of chili, but she'll eat it when Dad takes the time to cook it. She usually throws sour cream in hers, but no cheese.

One pot of chili usually produces enough thick, red stew for all four of us to go back for seconds (and sometimes thirds). In fact, usually we've got enough left over for us all to have at least a couple of bowls later in the week.

Chili is my family's big football tradition. It brings us all together in one way or another, even if during the beginning of the day, we'd been all doing our own things. In my humble opinion, I don't think there's anything better than coming into the house after running errands while home from college and smelling that distinct chili smell. At the end of the football season, I may not remember the final scores of all the huge games, or who even played the Super Bowl. I can bet you money, though, that I can remember those days where Dad and I stood around the stove, discussing what exactly was missing from the pot.

Once again, though, I am faced with the reality that my chili days are numbered. I'm away at college, and to be honest, chili doesn't exactly ship well through the USPS. So, I cherish those moments I have with my dad, cooking that chili. I cherish those nights spent sitting around the TV, yelling at the players and coaches as spoons (and Fritos) scrape the bottoms of bowls. I cherish that time I get to spend with my family, because I know that those moments are slowly beginning to dwindle in number.

So, whether your family's football tradition is wearing jerseys and face/warpaint or watching the game with friends in your team-themed room, remember this- these are the important moments. These are the moments that you'll remember for a lifetime. These are the moments.

With that said, I've got one last question for ya...

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?!?!?!

Face it, I Never Actually Learned this Stuff

I read an interesting article in The Breeze earlier today. It was talking about finals, and student's reactions to them. There was one part in it that actually made me laugh out loud, a dangerous feat to attempt while sitting in a dorm that is currently under "23 hour Quiet Hours."

Part of the article's argument was that the only reason professors give finals is to torture their students for one last week before they get let loose for the summer. It included something about them being jealous of the student's youth and vigor (after all, who wouldn't be jealous of someone who can party the entire night, and then still show up to class hungover with their paper written... please note the sarcasm there). While I do partially buy into the torturing the students argument, I really do believe that finals have some importance. Mind you, I'm writing this when I technically should be studying for the 8 AM history final I have tomorrow morning, but that's another story.

All too often it seems that students who get to go to college begin to feel entitled to a good grade. They feel that just because they show up for class and are barely attentive they deserve a passing grade for the course. However, I feel that finals are a good way of separating those who care about their grade from those who don't, though I'd believe that task can get a little difficult during the one week every kid wants to just go home. Like several of my professors said, the final can be used to bump you [the student] up that one letter grade that you need. It can be the ultimate deciding factor over whether you get D or a C, an A or a B.

So, while you're sitting there, cursing all your professors under your breath as you cram for that Chemistry final, remember that while they seem stupid at the moment, these mind-raping, soul-killing, hope-withering tests are actually useful. Maybe it'll give you the extra oomph to study more to get that A you know you can earn.

Quite The Adventure

You can always tell when it's time to register for classes on this college campus. It's interesting, really. During the two weeks registration takes place, there's almost this air of stress and frustration that descends on campus. If you're around someone who's got a later registration time, you could swear that the tension could be cut with a knife.

Now, usually I'm not one to get too frazzled over many things. In fact, last semester, my registration went off without a hitch. This time, though, I was ready to scream. Being the freshman I am, I naturally got a later time for registration. Therefore, by the time I got to sign up for classes today, most everything was filled. It took me over two hours to get into all my classes. And even then, I wasn't happy with my schedule. I'm sincerely praying that something opens up this summer during open registration.

The attitudes on a college campus are really quite interesting. Usually things are pretty easy-going. Even the professors at my college are pretty mellow. But when something like registration occurs, tensions rise instantly. It doesn't even have to be something as major as class registration, though. It can be something like a football game, and everyone gets all riled up. I find it interesting that the emotions of a college campus are so diverse and change in an instant. I also find it interesting that college manages to make things that, in all actuality should be quite simple, horribly complicated. It never ceases to amaze me.

This isn't to say that I dislike college, though. Oh, no. I love college. I love the school I go to. Most of the time, I love the people around me. I just find it a little ridiculous that they make almost everything into an adventure. Perhaps, with time, though, everything will even out.

One can hope, right?